Thursday, January 14, 2010

silence

............talking on the tv

............clicking of the computer keys

............occasional footsteps

............ding of the microwave

These are the things that I hear. Mostly white noise.......meaningless and sad. Silence.

I miss those days when as a mom of young children, I heard sweet laughter and constant chatter. You know the days when you want to pull your hair out and scream, but you know that you can't because it might scare the children!

I miss Luke's toothy grin and his sweet disposition. His constant "I love you, mommy" filled my days with a sweet aroma of goodness.

I miss watching Steve rock Stevie to sleep because he was the only one who could calm her tears. I miss those impromptu hugs that came accompanied by a big smile and kisses.

I miss those days of Shea and I alone when I was her best friend and could do no wrong. I miss her wanting to be with me because I was her everything.

All of these things that I wanted to end because they drove me crazy..........I miss those now.

It's too late.

My arms are empty. I ache for a little one to cuddle, snuggle, and rock now that I can truly appreciate the gift.

I see those little ones on the tv....those in Haiti or Africa or in the USA, I want to swoop in and rescue them with my love that is bubbling in my heart about to burst like a too-full balloon.

Time's a-wasting, there's love to give.

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