Tuesday, January 26, 2010

i totally stole this

Thanks, Lori, for this cute post on your blog! I needed an idea today.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ...

--- The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

--- People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish
were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

--- When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,"
and fifteen guys and two women stand up.

--- Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

--- A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because
"It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

--- The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

--- In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the
church directory.

--- Baptism is referred to as "branding".

--- High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

--- People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

--- The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

--- The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy
Bob's Barbecue.

--- The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

--- Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

--- The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

--- The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

--- "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

--- The final words of the Benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"

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