Saturday, June 20, 2009

talk about rekindling

So, most everyone knows that I got pregnant in high school. Stupid decision on my part, but as always, God brought something beautiful out of it...Mary Shea, of course!!

Well, a few months ago, she messaged me and told me that someone had requested to be her friend on fb and what should she do? That someone was none other than her "uncle" or her biological father's (known here on out as bf) brother. I told her to accept the request and see what he wanted. Well, she did and that led to a plethora of people from that family wanting to be added as "friends". Of course, some of these people she didn't even know!

I knew it was inevitable that her bf would get wind of this and want to be added as well. It happened (actually it was his wife posing as him, but I am sure with his approval). When all of this happened, I really didn't know how to feel or react. Was I jealous? Was I angry? Was I happy? and then it hit me, that I was none of those things because this wasn't about me. It was about a grown-up needing to decide what she wanted these people to mean to her or how involved she wanted to get. She came to me for advice, as a mom, but the relationship between her and these people needed to be hers alone. I didn't want to interfere.

Then, I began to wonder how this would affect Steve. You know, the man who actually raised her and loved her as his own? The man whose "payroll" she had been on for 24 years? How would he feel about all of this? I didn't think it fair that he be hurt or begin to feel replaced. So, I watched and waited to see how this would shake out.

Truth be told, I've known for a long time that this day would come. It had to, she would eventually become curious about this other side of her family whom she knew about but had wanted nothing to do with and who had had nothing to do with her. I always encouraged her to contact them, but I think she wasn't ready for that before like she is now. Cautiously and carefully (for fear of being hurt), she is developing a relationship that is comfortable for her. It's been a wonderful thing to watch. She knows who her dad is (Steve, of course) and she is carving out something as yet undefined with her bf. I hope that for everyone's sake, they will continue to etch out their story. A new story, a new relationship born from a budding friendship. I pray that they will not forget her ever again, but will instead be grateful and appreciative that God has given them another chance to know her.........because if they are, they will see what they've been missing and they'll see it's worth the ride.

Randy, enjoy this gift this Father's Day.......she's one to be cherished.

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