Friday, September 11, 2009

panic attacks

Panic attacks can strike at anytime, anyone, and anywhere. They also manifest themselves differently in different people. I use to suffer from these really bad about 20 or so years ago, but finally got them under control and haven't had to deal with them for some time---until last night.

I awoke from a sound sleep in a full-blown panic. Even after I got fully awake, I still had the shakes for over an hour. Why?? I have no idea. I have a few ideas............

Could it be that I spent several hours with a family who lost their patriarch and that brought back memories?

Could it be that I am really struggling to get back on my food plan after getting off and I know how desperately I must lose this weight?

Could it be that I am finally facing the reality that my kids are moving on (although this thought has always been exciting to me)?

Could it be that I have been thinking a lot about going back to work and this doesn't seem a reality for me?

I have no idea................. I do know that I don't like it. I like feeling in control, and therein lies the biggest issue for me. I. LIKE. CONTROL! However, we can't always control everything we would like.

Maybe God is using this to remind me that HE is the one in control. I just have to trust Him. I don't have to be a slave to I am choosing today to instead fear the One who loves me.

For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, " Abba , Father!" Romans 8:15

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