inside out

I watched the show, Ruby, the other night on Style Network. Ruby is the large lady who is losing weight with the world watching. I don't know if I would be that brave! In this particular episode, she is struggling with getting back on her program after a devastating loss in her life. What I was drawn to, however, is how she is with her friends and how they are with her. While I know that some of that may be for the camera, I was so impressed with the fact that her friends love her regardless of her size. That got me to thinking.

I have those same kinds of people in my life. They love me even though my butt has grown to be a wide load. However, I don't necessarily love myself. I like the person who I am on the inside, but can never seem to get past the outside. Hence the title of my post, inside out.

I began reflecting on what I like about myself and realized that I would never truly love myself until I started with the inside because the outside is gross to me. Perhaps if I can start over and focus on the PERSON I am instead of the FAT, I can finally do something about said fat and work harder on losing it. (It's easier said than done). So, with that said--out loud and in a public forum--that is a new goal I am setting for myself. To dig deep inside myself and truly love who I am and not what I look like. To stop fretting about what people are thinking (or trying to interpret their thoughts--hello--I have NO idea what they are!) and enjoy my life. To remember, daily, that I have wonderful people who love me (not to mention a GOD who adores me for me) and who enjoy my company.

So, today, I resolve to love myself--fat and all--from the inside out instead of focusing on the outside first!