words fail me

Being a preacher's wife, we have experienced our share of loss. The strange thing is, that it jars me every.time.

I went to bed last night with an old friend, one I hadn't seen or spoken to in over twenty years, on my mind. Or rather, her family on my mind because, you see, she died. Unexpectedly. Was fine at dinner last week, and not so fine the next morning when she was in a medically-induced coma. I think of her family and how this time last week, they had NO idea that their lives were about to be turned upside down. Completely.

I think about Paige, who was sweet to everyone and very giving.......not realizing that her life would end suddenly. It makes me sad, and a little sick. I have to wonder why.....I know we're taught not to ask why, but really?

What seriously jars me the most, though, is that I ache for the souls of the lost. Did someone share Jesus with her before she died?

However, the more important question is...did I? I doubt it. My life was in a shambles unbeknown to those around me....for we appeared normal enough; and I was very, very centered around my own pain. So, no...I'm sure I never shared Jesus with anyone.

Right now, as another funeral takes place behind my home, words seriously are failing me as I come to terms with yet another loss. So, I will take the words from God and place them here as I vow to pray them each day for Paige's family:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Ps. 23:4