case closed

We got a letter in the mail that from the Department of Human Services that they had closed our adoption case. It was a sad moment and oh so disappointing. Unfortunately though, I know that it is for the best for now. I don't have the energy required to deal with another child. The ones I have are relatively drama-free except on a few days, and we like it that way.

It is so disappointing, though. Luke especially was bummed as he was still holding out hope of us getting him a little sister. I told him he'd just have to wait until he could have his own kids.........YEARS from now!

However, we know that God knows best.

I go back to the dr. in Charleston on Tuesday. I had some lab work done, and things look a little worse which probably rules out lupus, but still leaves us in the dark as to what is wrong. So, I'll keep you posted.

lead

The guy from the lead company came to do his fancy testing today. Actually, I think he was with DHEC as well.....not from a different company like we had been told, but we didn't really care where he came from......just that he came.

The bottom line is: Everything is fine! So, it won't matter what age the child we adopt is.

One more hurdle to jump over, and then we can get to the home study. After that, it is just a matter of being matched with a child. The SC Heart Gallery posted some new pics in region 1 if you are interested.

It's nice to be making progress again!

updates

With summer happening around us...and goodness knows that summer in SC means HOT....it's been awhile since I've had the opportunity to update you on all things adoption and health-related.

Most importantly: ADOPTION

Remember when the guy from DHEC came and said we had lead paint in this here parsonage? Yeah, I know....I barely remember it! Well, he told us then that we would have to have a fancy company come and do extensive lead testing. He told us it would be a week or so before they called. It's been like 6 weeks...but, they finally called and on Thursday.....the fancy testing will commence. Most likely, the result will be that the child we adopt will have to be 7 or older. No biggie---after having the boys for a week, I believe that I. REST. MY. CASE. where Steve and Luke and their whole "we want a little person" are concerned!

So, that's where we are with that. Waiting on the health to work itself out before we go any further with the window that has to be replaced which is a post unto itself.

HEALTH:

I went off of my bp meds about 2 weeks ago. My bp started creeping up last week....not bad, but bad enough that my heart was pounding and I just didn't feel that good. So, I got the prescription filled that the other man in my life right now....Dr. Godfrey.... gave me. I have actually felt great since I started taking it. My thoughts are that my platelets and white blood cells have to be reproducing because I have a lot more energy than I've had in months! It may be wishful thinking...but, I certainly hope not as I am not planning a bone marrow aspiration anytime soon! Those things are painful and they don't put you to sleep. I'd probably have a massive heart attack and die if they tried......so the other issues would be a mute point anyway! Better to just start reproducing, little cells.

Can I just ask for one thing? Can you pray for a couple I know, Steve and Deanna, who just received some devastating news? Steve is 46. They have 4 kids (8-18) and he was just diagnosed with colon cancer. Without a miracle, he's probably not going to make it. Whether God chooses to provide a miracle or not; He alone knows what Deanna and the kids will need going forward. All we can do is pray that His peace swallow them up.

Okay, okay, one more thing.....Steve's (my Steve) mom is having a PET scan next Monday. We'll be there, but neither of his parents are in good health. There are some real issues that need to be resolved. Again, I can't ask for anything other than your prayers...........but prayers of righteous people bring about much good.....

So, those are my updates in a nutshell.

they're haunting me

The children, that is. No, not my own (although the summer break only started yesterday and I am nearly ready for them to go back to school!) Kidding--well, kinda.

Seriously, I had a dream last night that we adopted 4 kids. They were all kids that I had seen on the SC Heart Gallery, unrelated. Sooooooo not going to happen! But, anyway, it seems that everywhere we turn there's something or someone else talking about adoption---a magazine that came in the mail the other day had an article about it---a sermon we inadvertently found and listened to was about adoption--it seems that the topic is everywhere. BUT, Back to the kids---- all the ones in my dream were kids whom I've spent time looking at and reading through their profiles multiple times. Not only on the gallery, but adoptuskids. I really encourage you to go to these websites and find a child or two that you are drawn to and begin to pray that he/she find a home. A FOREVER HOME, that is. Or just pray that they are happy, safe, and feel loved. This way, you can pray for them by name. The Bible tells us to be specific in our prayers.

Adoption, like many other activities, is a calling. Not everyone is equipped for it, and that's fine. Nobody should be made to feel bad because they just don't want to do it. However, everyone can do something. I've made a list (yes, I know I've done this before) for those who need reminding of some of their options. Let me know if you try any of these:

1. Did you know that most foster children carry their belongings around in a plastic sack? They don't even have a suitcase when they move. They use trash bags. You can donate backpacks or overnight bags. Just call your local DSS office.

2. There are many, many children who need mentors. This takes one hour a week. ONE HOUR! They just want someone to care about them. The only hug they get all week may be from you.

3. Volunteer to be a guardian ad litem. This requires time so be prepared, but being an advocate for a kid so that he/she has a voice is mighty important!

Okay, I'm going to leave it at three (not counting the praying) and move on.

You're probably tired of my harping anyway.

A comment was left for the post from yesterday that said it was difficult to adopt a dog as well in GA. I found that to be hilarious because I had just had that same conversation with my brother the other night. His family adopted a dog from the "pound" they don't call it that anymore, but he said is was an ordeal. Like, when did we start filling out applications to adopt a dog?? Next, there will be homestudies for that. Actually, I think some of those rescue people actually already do a home visit! I know they threaten to take the dog back after you adopt it if they decide you aren't worthy. Ridiculous! Maybe next I'll post about the ridiculous...there's certainly plenty of fodder out there for that.

On a joyous note, The Bachelorette has started again! Yeah, me!! I get to hear "her and I" more times than I care to......... you know I'll watch it anyway!!

good grief!

I can't hardly say that without conjuring up a picture of Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football. I love Charlie Brown, and some days I feel like him!

We must be on the cusp of something BIG, either personally or spiritually.......something that God really, really wants because Satan, he is attacking.

He knows our most vulnerable areas to send his darts, and right now he is working overtime trying to hit my mark. I am trying to dodge all of those arrows he's sending my way and not let him hit the bulls-eye, but merciful heavens, it is tough.

We had a wonderful weekend with friends. We had a fabulous Sunday as well until about 10 pm. Luke went to bed and about 20 minutes later came into the tv room (where I was trying, unsuccessfully due to satellite issues) to watch the last hour of Survivor and the season finale of Brothers and Sisters. He was upset, holding his chest, having a hard time breathing, and complaining of the area between his shoulder blades hurting. Well, I don't know about in your house, but I really like for the people in my house to BREATHE. So, since he scared me to death, we took him to the emergency room--along with about 900 other people--and waited through something scary where the police were called--until about 3 hours later they told us he has pneumonia. WHAT?? It came on him in like 10 minutes! But, alas, there it was. So, they sent us home with medicine and the hope that he would feel better soon. Fun times!

Finally made it home and to bed only to have to get up a few, too short hours later since, not being clairvoyant, I had made my own doctor's appointment for 7:30. My doctor told me that my labs looked a little better, and we would re-check them in 2 weeks. Maybe we are going in the right direction with that. Unfortunately, he will not sign the adoption paper until we have this little issue figured out or it fixes itself so that is still up in the air!

We did complete our 2nd adoption class on Saturday and it wasn't quite as boring as the first one. We also have our pre-fire inspection next Tuesday to make sure we are ready for the "real" fire inspection. So, we are on schedule with that for now.

Back to satan and his evil plan, though. I hope he knows that my God is bigger and I have NO problem letting him fight this battle for me. He's glad to do it......so why not let him?

are you my mother?

Do you remember reading this as a child or perhaps reading it to your children? Of course, it's about a little bird who goes in search of its mother, asking all the wrong kinds of animals, until it finds just the right one. I love this book, and I loved reading it to my kids and assuring them that I loved them and would always be their mom.

I've been thinking a lot about the child that God has already chosen to join our quirky little family (DSS thinks they are in charge--HA!). I can't seem to get him or her off my mind. I wonder if he/she lies in bed at night wondering who will step into the mother role. I wonder if he/she is still grieving for the parent that was unable to do the job. I wonder if tonight, that kid went to bed thinking nobody lived him/her.

My heart is breaking that I have a child out there who is hurting, and I can't make it okay. Will I ever be able to make it okay? Will the love we have to give be enough?

God continues to confirm--even when I doubt--that this is the very important thing we are to do. So, I know that He is comforting a child somewhere who is desperately seeking and asking...Will you be my mother?

For now though, my little one, wherever you are.........know that you are being prayed for and remember:

Psalm 68: 3-5
But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.
Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds-- his name is the LORD-- and rejoice before him.A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

crunch time

Tomorrow (well, actually today) is our first adoption class. Be glad to get it behind me so we can start on the vast amount of paperwork to be done.

I guess spring break for me is officially over. I have two weeks to get the massive number of projects done for my portfolio and my other class to be complete. TWO WEEKS, people! Can you believe it? There will probably not be much sleep and a very grumpy me. Poor Steve and the kiddos. It's gonna be worth it, though. (or at least I hope so!)

So, if you don't hear from me, know that I am buried under a blanket somewhere hiding from the work! Don't come looking for me...................

adoption

So, I've had lots of conversations with people about this thing called adoption. I've heard a lot of times about what "good" people we must be. Well, I like to think that we are basically "good" people, of course, but there is a lot of good out there, folks! I don't necessarily feel like we are good because we are wanting to adopt. Being good is really not that hard.

Another thing that people say is, "you must have a big heart". Well, those who know me, know that I have a BIG something.................but, we all have the same amount of heart space for love capacity. Being a Christian---a Christ-follower-- multiplies our heart capacity, but people LOVE in different ways. So, no, I don't really fell like we have bigger hearts than anyone else.

Now, I don't want to sound like I don't appreciate the comments of folks who say things like that, because I do. It reaffirms our decision to do this. However, I do have a few thoughts on the subject.

1. Because we obey, we reach God's goals. We are simply obeying what we feel like God is asking of us at this moment. We each are given tasks to do, some much, much harder than adopting. Like our friends Joel and Charlotte who moved their five kids to Brazil to be missionaries. Now, that, my people, IS WHAT I CALL A GOOD THING. I don't want to go there--do you?

2. I think our actions are selfish. What do I mean by that? Well, our actions are certainly not self-less. We are expecting something out of this experience. We aren't willing to take "just any child", but we do know that we want the child God has picked out for us. And, we are looking at this opportunity as a blessing TO us, not as a blessing FROM us. We certainly hope to bless some child's life---I hope we are blessing the lives of any child we touch--even Shea, Stevie, and Luke-- but we want another child and cannot physically have one. Therefore, we are hoping to receive as much if not more than to give.

Children are a blessing FROM the Lord. Parents are just the vehicle he uses to raise them properly. Sometimes, parents are incapable of doing that, and that's where we hope to step in.

Does any of that make sense? I guess, it is just embarrassing to me to be told I am doing something amazing when, in essence, I believe that in the long run......the blessings will be mine.

orientation

When I wrote my last post, I had originally planned for it to hit the blog on Sunday after Steve had told the church our news. We thought it was important for them to hear it first from our mouths and not secondhand. However, he decided to mention it Wednesday night so I went ahead and posted. So, that means that we actually hadn't been to the orientation meeting when you read it.

Last night, was the orientation meeting. That room was full of people who want to adopt. I couldn't believe it, although I think the vast majority of them wanted a baby. Not me, though. Although, knowing how God works, what I don't want is probably exactly what He has in mind! The lady in charge gave us tons of information to think about and process. What was funny, though, was that Steve and I each heard something different on several issues. So, I immediately had to come home and email our family worker to get some clarification--which I am not expecting until sometime next week. The one thing that we are sure about is that we have to be at a 7 hour training on April 10. The other thing that I am sure (well, almost) about is that the child we saw on the sc heart gallery is probably not the child we will end up with! The process is not at all what I thought it would be.

We are still very excited about this possibility. Still nervous about some things like that whole home study thing...........that's intense.........and I know some people who should have to have that done before they have their own children........we probably all know people like that!!

So, we keep working towards the goal and reminding ourselves that this process belongs to God. We'll keep praying for that new family member..................wherever he or she may be!

"it"

"It" all began for me about 35 years ago (mind you I was about 8 at the time). I was intrigued by "it" and knew that I wanted to explore and learn more.

Fast forward into adulthood when things became complicated and "it" didn't seem so exciting anymore. I was married with two children when I was once again confronted with "it". I was a new, young teacher with aspirations of motivating and saving all of the children. I taught in a poor area where parental involvement meant nothing, and education was not valued. It was in that setting that I met *Frankie. His parents were divorced, and he lived with his mom in the projects. He was not well taken care of. I wanted to help, so I did what I could which wasn't much. Steve tempered my enthusiasm with realism, and the dream of "it" died again.

Fast forward many years later when, after turning 35, I decided maybe I could finally explore the possibility of "it". I did explore, but that was as far as I got since Steve, once again, was not interested. No matter what argument I made, he was not for "it" and wouldn't change his mind. I finally gave up and let go of my dream.

Fast forward one more time to the Fall of 2009. I began to sense that God was asking me to do something, but I didn't know what. I was driven crazy by this since (as I have discussed before), I am not too keen on the waiting plan of God! I really need a sky writer when it comes to Him telling me what I should do. I explored some possibilities, but nothing came of those. I was confused since I really felt like the path I was to take was totally different that the path that I was on. What did this mean?? I didn't know, but just decided that like ONE other time before (when we were called to our current church) I would actually WAIT on God to simply let me in on His plan. I wouldn't seek it out other than praying and reading the Word. I kept this up for months......and I got NOTHING!! My biggest prayer was that whatever the plan was, that He would allow the confirmation to come from Steve. I had shared my concerns with Steve, and knew that he was praying for God's will as well. When it comes to the Leighs, God's will could be anything (as those of you who know us well can attest!), so we were very, very open. We didn't want to put God in a box, so we simply waited.

God did something amazing! On Feb 19, 2010, we took our youth group to Winterjam. Tony Nolan gave his testimony, and when he concluded, my husband turned to me and said something amazing to which I simply replied, "Have you lost your MIND?????" Little did I know that God was using that moment to allow "it" to actually happen.

I'm sure that you've guessed by now that "it" is adoption. I can hardly contain the tears as I type this. I want to share with you the rest of the story.....................

Steve looked at me that night and said, "I think we should adopt a baby from China." uhh, NO. is what I said back!! I am 44 years old, and I am NOT adopting a baby when I plan to go back to work next year. AND where would you like this money to do this to come from??????? I thought he had seriously HIT.HIS.HEAD.

He hadn't! God instead had popped him upside the head. We aren't adopting a baby from China, however. We began to research options and decided that for us, the best option was to adopt an older child through DSS, and that's what we're doing. God has sent confirmation to us EVERY SINGLE DAY since Feb. 19! So far, we have filled out paperwork, researched, attended an orientation meeting, researched, been fingerprinted, researched, and on and on it goes. I want to share with you the road along the way. I know it is going to be amazing. I also covet your prayers for not only us, but for the child that God has picked out for us. We can only hope that he/she is being well cared for and shown love in the foster home. All of us in this home are anxiously awaiting the homecoming of a new Leigh family member.

*name changed to protect privacy